Lights, camera, action
by neverhappy10
Summary: So you want the girl? You want that picture-perfect romance like they have in movies? Well then, you've come to the right place. This is AU.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, soo, since I'm a fic whore, I came up with a new idea. For those of you who live in South East Asia, you might know the movie Cyrano Agency, this is kinda based off of that. Of course, I'll go my own way with it. For those of you who don't know the movie, this is a little bit like 'Hitch', I guess.

* * *

><p>Prologue<p>

All great individuals throughout history have said something along the likes of "To be successful, just do what you love, and the rest will follow." Pretty sure what they had in mind was a world away from what Santana was doing. There were a few crucial things you may need to know about Santana Lopez (well, there are a a lot of things you may want to know about her, but for now, let's just get a few things cleared up).

Number one, she did NOT have a threesome involving Quinn in highschool, not even when she was shitfaced, or even after smoking some grass with Puck and was horny as fuck.

Number two, she was gayer than...a gay thing...Whatever, basically, Santana was gay. Has always been gay, will always be gay.

Number three, if seduction were an art, then she'd be more talented than freakin Picasso and Monet put together. Not to toot her own horn, but Santana was pretty much a genius in that department.

Number four, Santana found college extremely and utterly boring, balding guys, standing in the middle of a room, droning on about shit no one cared about, and she's pretty sure nobody would ever even use in the real world. So, of course, she dropped out.

Number five, she had a group of unlikely friends. There was Puck, her best friend since middle school. No, they never dated, never will. There was Artie Abrams, the nerd geek without legs. Well, to be fair, he did have legs, but never used them, rolling around in his wheelchair all day. Studying at MIT, something tech-y, no doubt. Tina Cohen-Chang, an Asian with an obvious fake stutter, something about using it to apply to colleges...honestly, what was it with Asians and getting into universities at whatever cost? Last, but certainly not least, Quinn 'no longer HBIC' Fabray (ok, that wasn't her nickname, but whatever). What did these four people have in common? They were all pretty much desperate for money.

So, they came together and started something. Something big, something possibly even revolutionary. Not in the common sense of the word, of course, but they would be changing lives, making miserable people happier, making the world a better place, even. At least, that was what Santana had pitched to them, while they were all drunk, and after having watched 'Hitch' because there just simply wasn't anything good on TV.

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><p>"Ok, David, relax now, go with the script." Santana spoke into the microphone, eyes focused on the screens in front of her. Watching.<p>

He did, repeating lines like instructed the day before. Honestly, some people just had natural acting ability, David was not one of those people. The whole group had been pretty much stuck in the motel room the previous day, rehearsing and helping the poor guy get it right. By the end of it, they were all ready to rip each other's hair out. Now, it was time to deliver, and it seemed as though their hard work was somewhat paying off. This Kate girl was more than ready to go all putty in his hands. The only annoying thing was he kept shifting the little earpiece around. God, did this guy even know the definition of playing it cool? Still, it was gonna take a little more than what seemed like an weird ear fetish or something to put Kate off. She was too far gone by then. Like most of them are.

_"I really like you, Kate."  
><em>

Santana nodded, although he couldn't see her, "Good, keep going."

_"Can I...? No, nevermind."_

"Now turn around and walk away, just like we practiced. Don't look back."

Again, the guy did as he was told.

"And five...four...three...two...-" Santana counted out loud, trademark smirk on her face.

_"Wait, David. What is it?"_

Annnnddd mission accomplished. Even a guy like David would be able to take it from there. Taking off the headphones and sitting back triumphantly in her chair, Santana turned to Quinn, "And you were scared I wasn't gonna be able to pull it off because...?"

Even the blonde had to be impressed.

Here's the last thing you need to know about Santana Lopez. She never failed.


	2. Chapter 2

"Our new client," Puck announced, throwing the folder onto the table. Twice a week, the gang would meet up, discuss their strategies, or meet up with a new loser, who's willing to do just about anything to get the girl of their dreams. It'd be so completely pathetic if they weren't handing over a great sum of money (the business was very profitable, due to the team's 100% success rate. You'd be surprised at how many desperate guys there were in L.A, and you'd definitely be surprised if you knew just how predictable girls were). Quinn picked up the files and began to read out loud.

"Finn Hudson, 25 years old, executive of Hudson International. " Santana sniggered, honestly, why did people even bother giving their precious sons these titles? Who were they even kidding? It was obvious they never actually did anything and just got paid a ridiculous amount, occasionally giving out orders to poor staff members who happened to cross their way. "He basically wants this girl named Rachel Berry." Santana nodded, important information about the targets (that's what she always called them, even though the group didn't. It was objectifying women too much) such as their names, birthdates, interests were extremely crucial to the mission. Okay, so maybe she liked watching Bond movies from time to time. Hey, the Bond girls were always hot, it not liked she paid any actual attention to the plots themselves.

"Occupation: Broadway performer, singer and actress. All aspiring. Currently working at a local Starbucks."

"But she is a name that's up and coming in showbiz." Tina added, as the group all turned to give her 'really?' looks. "What?"

Quinn cleared her throat, "Continuing on, she does pilates 3 times a week, from 5pm to 7pm. Likes Asian food, mostly Chinese and Vietnamese, does vegetarian once a week. Loves music, especially classical, wants to learn to play the cello or violin someday. Dislikes messes, and people who are more talented than her."

The blonde gave Puck a raised eyebrow, and he just shrugged, "Facebook and stuff."

Nobody dared to ask what the 'and stuff' included. The important thing was that they got the base information down. It was time to meet with the client and go over the finer details. Such as the money.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Hudson-"<p>

"Finn, please."

Santana nodded politely, "Ok then, Finn. Do you know why it is in movies that the nice guys always gets the girl, yet in real life, it's the opposite?"

She's written and practiced this speech in the mirror countless times. The guys (just to save time, the men who hire them will now be referred to as the 'losers') weren't gonna fork over that kind of money straightaway. Even if they were willing to, they'd still be suspicious. Better to get that ever important employer-employee trust factor in place before anything went down. They'd learned that the hard way.

The tall loser shook his head, "I guess it's because people want happy endings?"

Santana chuckled, "No- Well, yes, but there's also something else. Something very very important, Finn. Something that only we can give you."

"What's that?"

Bam, he's a goner. Once you've got their curiosity peaked, it's pretty much game over. The brunette smiled, the rehearsed smile she's given to God knows how many losers before Finn. The smile that said, 'I'm going to help you get what you want.'

"A script, Finn. We can give you the perfect script, and trust me when I say this. You will get your happy ending once we're finished."

A goofy grin showed up on the loser's face, "What do I gotta do?"

Santana promptly produced some papers from inside the nearby cabinet, as well as a pen and placed both items in front of Finn. It wasn't as if he's be making a deal with the devil. Every word out of Santana's mouth was the absolute truth. He really would get his happy ending, and who could put a price on love, right? Well, Santana could, and it certainly wasn't cheap.

Finn thought for a second, and the brunette could practically see his thought process. 'Should I? It's a lot of money.' then 'But she's worth it, every penny.'

A quick signature and handshake later, the group had a brand new client, as well as a decent sum in their bank accounts.

* * *

><p><em>Step one: Get her attention.<em>

The whole gang were all staring at Finn rather intently. He had as much fashion sense and sex appeal as a...well, maybe a tree. Or even less than that.

They had to call in help from Blaine Anderson, a dapper young fellow chap (you had to speak about him like that, it was like an unspoken rule of sorts). And finally, they managed to settle on a cool polo and jeans. Simple was best.

"Now listen to me, Finn. You go in, order a coffee, go out, make no eye contact. Got that?" Santana instructed firmly, shifting the collar.

"How's that supposed to get her attention?"

"This is a process that's gonna test your patience, so if you're not willing to wait, you may as well leave now." The brunette stepped back, admiring her handiwork.

"Ok. I will."

"You will do this for 3 days straight. Remember, do not make eye contact. It's important. She needs to know that you're there. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, yeah I think I can." Finn nodded confidently.

Santana smiled, "Good. If there's anything, call us. Don't hesitate."

* * *

><p>"You think he'll be able to?" Quinn questioned once the loser left.<p>

Santana snorted in response, "Him? Highly doubt it. But girls like this Rachel wants attention, so if he gives it to her, good. If he doesn't, even better. You can't lose."

"Wow, you really do have everything figured out, huh?"

The brunette smirked triumphantly, "Of course I do, Quinnie. There's nothing I don't know about women." She patted the blonde on the head playfully before leaving the room.

* * *

><p>The very next day, Finn called. Surprise, surprise. The rest of the group were all setting up for the next phase, so he'd agreed to meet up with her alone, in his office building.<p>

Stepping into the lift, she quickly pressed the button which would take her to the top floor and waited for the doors to close. The doors suddenly jammed up and re-opened themselves to reveal one of the hottest blondes she'd ever seen, carrying a briefcase in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. Cappuccino if she weren't wrong. Flawless would be the only word to describe that body.

And she smiled at Santana. A smile that you would maybe give to your lift companion, if you were hot for them that is. Oh, okay, well, that was interesting. Verryyyy interesting.

But as she turned around and smiled back, it was gone. The blonde's face was completely stoic and calm. Ok, so maybe she misread that a little.

She kept trying to look at her companion in the mirror of the elevator walls, Santana was never wrong. The woman was pulling out her blackberry when the coffee cup got knocked over in her hand and the hot liquid got all over her shirt. Wow.

She grunted in frustration, and Santana could swear she gave a little smirk in her direction before taking her shirt off, revealing her upper body. Abs, lacy bra, tits. Oh, okay then. Either this girl was the devil in human form, or there was something else going on in the confined space. Her gaydar was bleeping all over the damn place, and loudly, too.

The woman then pulled out an expensive looking jacket and put it on herself. Santana almost pouted. Fine, if she wanted to play that game. The brunette invented that game.

Just as she was about to turn around, they were interrupted again. Goddamn it. The elevator doors opened themselves to reveal some guy in a suit. They went up a few floors before he got off, leaving the two alone again.

Santana sighed, looking into the floor the guy just went into. It was nice, everything was modern and organized. She had no idea what the company did, but it sure seemed as though they were making profit.

When she turned her attention back to the reflection in the lift, her breath was caught. The stranger was looking directly at her, a dark, sensual look in her eyes, biting her bottom lip, and tilting her head just enough for the brunette to notice the sensuous curve of her neck. But it wasn't out of habit, Santana could tell, it was an action done for the single purpose of sucking people in. She wasn't going to lie, right then, she would've loved nothing more than to run her tongue over the soft skin there, making the blonde moan.

Santana turned around almost instantly, fuck it. This stranger was hot, and clearly had already mastered the art of-

Except the blonde was fully engrossed in her blackberry, furiously typing something out, not even looking up to acknowledge Santana.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened with a slight hiss. The stranger stepped out, and the brunette must've been hallucinating when a smile was thrown her way, eyes lingering on her lips.

_Fuck._ She pulled her phone out and sent a text to Finn. The meeting would need to be delayed, right now, Santana just really needed a cold shower. And possibly therapy.


End file.
